one-liners: only one week left

• I ate some vindaloo yesterday; it was my first. The Bollywood videos at the restaurant were entrancing, but the vindaloo was kind of tasteless. Like the Shosh said, it doesn't seem to translate well to tofu.
  
• I also ran down an up escalator yesterday. That, on the contrary, was everything I'd ever hoped it would be. (Next weekend I plan on going up a down escalator. Then, in through an out door.)
  
• All right, so I knew about the Flat Earth Society, but until today I didn't really know about the Flat Earth Society. Look! They have forums, and a FAQ, which "was created in light of the realization that for someone with a 'round-Earth' (RE) background, the FE theory would appear at first glance to have some glaring holes." No worries, though, they lay it all out for you. Basically, dudes, the earth is flat. There's a giant conspiracy, authored by "the government" and everyone else in the world who has ever said they had any kind of evidence that the earth was round. What's more, if you personally have ever witnessed any evidence that the world is round, you were mistaken, and so were your scientific instruments. Ergo, the world is flat. QED. See, they even have a map, with a cute little flat sun and moon too. Also, it turns out, some of the flat earthers are unclear on the question of why sex with children is bad. Don't get me wrong, they're all totally, totally against it, they just want to make sure that the logical position against fucking babies is sufficiently rigorous. Because they are all about the motherfucking logic over there at the Flat Earth Society.
• Chocolate is apparently made out of enslaved children. (Scroll down, second item.) Now, that was an unpleasant piece of information, and I apologize.
  
• On a less horrifying note: Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake have something for you, babies.
• Victorian backwards slang and rhyming slang. I could use a tinep o' reeb right about now.
• We missed monkey day.
  
• I'll have you know, I have been drinking wine coolers ironically for over a decade now. I am just that far ahead of my time, I guess. Also, Strawberry Shortcake is the tits. (I do not know from cachet, however.)
• This scares the shit out of me.
• This is so worth it for the last line. You can start about halfway down if you're already familiar with the progress of the War on Christmas thus far. (Our side is losing, of course.)