things i really hope i will do when this semester is over: first installment

• Do my laundry. How gross would it be if I hadn't done laundry in three and a half months? Hypothetically.
• Start going to the gym again. I had a dream last night that I went to my company's Christmas party and then I saw a video of myself at the party and I looked like an elephant. Also my fly was open.
  
• Clean up my piles of crap around the house. Randy! No more wading through piles of boxes and dirty laundry to get to your closet! You know, until next semester starts.
  
• Go grocery shopping. It might be nice to eat something other than Taco Bell sometimes. I don't know, I'm going to try it out.
  
• Get sick. This one's more of a bowing to the inevitable than a plan, per se.
• Do fun things. Dudes. I feel like I haven't done anything spontaneously fun in decades now. I want to go roller skating and play mini golf and paint pottery and go to the beach for no reason at all and hang out at the mall and go to McDonald's in the middle of the night and... wait, that's the high school fun I never had, not the college fun I haven't been having. What's college fun? I hope it involves cemeteries.
• Make some collages. I'm no artist, but I like it, and I ain't done it much lately.
  
• Do some crafts. What? I'm in a creative mood.
  
• Listen to more music. I've been listening to a lot, but not really appreciating it. It will be nice to be able to listen to music without having to do something else at the same time.
• Read Paradise Lost. I'm buying a case of egg nog, Idler. Do not let me down.
• Do my Christmas shopping. It's fucking December, I just found out.
• Go to the French conversation group at Pacific Crepes. This one will probably not happen. The level of courage it would take for me to do this is pretty much inconceivable. Still, I think it's a good idea to put at least one thing you'll never ever do on any list of goals you make. Keeps you humble.
• Sleep. It's a rose, as the Persians say.