Thursday, January 12, 2006

update re: portmanteau words

Wow, so, like, it seems I'm not as original as I thought. Okay, I never thought I was at all original actually, but I figured those snarktards at Wanker, I mean Gawker*, were easy marks and I could steal from them -- err, write an homage to them -- without fear of repercussion. Well, recently I discovered the word fucktard's (apparent) true source, and it is this guy. He seems to use it primarily to describe the imaginary people who write letters in to Parade magazine, and he uses it so much that I suspect the word was actually born out of an authentic urge towards a more efficient use of the language. Anyhow, to all the millions of fans I've garnered because of this post of mine, please transfer your allegiance to Mr. Tod Goldberg immediately. Sorry for pegging my pants like you, guy. By the way? Love the Bon Jovi subhead. That takes some onions.

Hey! Wanna hear something that I consider marginally weird? Mr. Goldberg's first post on his blog, much like my own first post here, seems to indicate that he, too, tried as long as possible to stop his ears 'gainst the siren's song of the blog, but eventually had to cave, like me. Just about one full year before me, in fact. (Although he also says that he's had a website since 1999.) Are there more of us who feel a little dirty about doing this? Have I stumbled into a majority somehow? If so, how do I get out of it?

*I read Gawker with embarassing frequency, as well as about 4,000 of its sister sites, and if you were like me -- that is, desperate to fill the 7.5 hours a day, five days a week, during which you would otherwise be staring into the pant-soiling abyss of a future in the insurance industry -- you would be just as happy as I am to find anything on the internet, anything at all, however starfucky, which you could surreptitiously read instead of working and which was at once moderately witty and not at all self-pitying. So, "snarktard" is at least one half a term of endearment. Oh, and "wanker" means "extremely worthwhile publication" in Chinese.


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