eat a bag of dicks!!

• That's what I'm going to program this thing to say. And then maybe I'll make a picture of a puppy for when people are nice. But probably not.
  
• I think this is totally rad. Especially the Santa Monica Pier.
• Also, here are some tiny little people in foodscapes. Most rad as well, wouldn't you say my good fellows, cheerio what eh!
  
• ...aaaand it's Jello City! Wicked boss! Am I allowed to combine slang that way? Good God I'm bored.
  
• "Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration." I'm denting my navel right now. It helps the boredom. No it doesn't.
  
• You can't escape, people. How many times must you be told?
  
• Okay, really, what could be so fucking bad for these motherfucking bunnies? Suck it up, guys. Points for creativity, though, obvy.
• Speaking of bunnies:
  
Take that.

• I'm afraid I have to ask you to ruin any appreciation for Weezer you might have left after hearing that "on drugs" song by reading this essay written by Rivers Cuomo. For a class at Harvard. From which institution of higher learning he and his giant brain just matriculated. Want to hear my favorite part? "I wondered if Muslim women veil their faces at least partly in an attempt to promote this kind of peace in both themselves and the men around them." Yes, Rivers. Yes, yes, yes! Those dirty sluts are just trying to avoid stressing everyone out with their evil, tantalizing faces! (You may proceed directly to the word doc here if the preceding PieSnark^TM was sufficient to meet your sarcasm needs with regard to this item.)
• This here is a story about a tribe living in Brazil in which "nobody tells any kind of stories. No one paints and there is no art." Is it just me or is that really terrifying? On the other hand, the inability to do math would be an absolute mercy.
  
• It's long past sleepy-time for me, now. I have another paper to write tomorrow before girding my loins in preparation for the dreaded Peer Review. Wish me immunity.