one-liners: new shoes edition

• New shoes! OMG!!! New shoes FTW!! They're blue, and they have a sort of quasi big band/dominatrix feel to 'em. Or at least that's what I say. And I will wear them every single day until the morning I find my toes in a soggy mess at the bottom of the bed.

• Speaking of shoes, today I caught myself seriously thinking about buying a pair of yellow shoes. That's right. Yellow. Shoes. I've apparently turned into a kindergartener. More evidence: today I bought a bottle of baby lotion. Baby lotion, you know, to rub on my skin. You guys would tell me if I was shitting my pants in public, right?
  
• David Lynch is on the market again. He sounds happier.
• You know how I was going to go to Ikea and get a new futon mattress last week and then everything in life was going to be perfect? Yep, not so much. I got the mattress, but I have to take it back to Ikea this Saturday. I'm making Boyfriend go with me this time. I think he's really looking forward to it. Anybody need anything? (Other than your blinds, of course, Shosh.)
  
• Here are some cats that look like Hitler.
• Yes, Nick Cave probably is the coolest man alive. Don't you just love his little pink shirt?
• I'm taking my (last) insurance test tomorrow. Everyone wish me luck. Actually, never mind, I'm over it.
  
• I have a foot cramp. And I'm going to bed.