Friday, June 02, 2006


I've decided that if I end up with the grades I need in my classes this summer, I will reward myself with a new tattoo. And if I don't get the grades I need, I will punish myself by paying someone to repeatedly poke me with a needle.

I've been thinking about a new tattoo for years, and several times I've thought I'd decided what I wanted and where to put it; but as it turns out, well, not so much. So, can I take a poll? Is that kosher? Not that I plan on doing whatever you guys tell me to, but it would be nice to have opinions from people with a little more critical distance. So answer questions 1 and 2, please, like nice little friendicles.

Question 1. THE IMAGE. So, FYI. I don't take lightly the idea of getting ink permanently inserted under my skin, and therefore all of these images are things I've been considering for some time, and each one has a particular significance to me, which I won't go into here. But these aren't just pretty pictures.

Option A: Wedjat. Udjat? Eye of Horus. This picture is a little large, I'm thinking about an inch to an inch and a half square.

Option B: This dude. And yes, if you think you know where I scanned this from, you're right. No, I'm not ashamed. Okay, I'm a little ashamed. Still, it's awesome, right? This one would be maybe three, three and a half inches square. Just this crazy guy, who I like to imagine is high-fiving a dinosaur off-stage. In color, like it is here. In almost every case, I'm opposed to the idea of putting a colored tattoo on myself, but I really like these colors and I don't think the image would work in black and white.

Option C. Uh huh, you know it. Also an inch to an inch and a half long.

Question 2: THE LOCATION.

Option A: Lower back. Yes, I'm aware this is the place all the sorority girls put theirs. I still think it's a good place for a tattoo, and I won't eliminate a prospective scarifying location just because it's not indie enough. I'm also aware it would hurt like fuck-all, but that's what the analgesic Alcohol is for.

The other thing about this option is — and please imagine large amounts of embarassed laughter here — uh, I don't know from Aleister Crowley, but apparently he was in the habit of referring to the anus as "the Eye of Horus." Therefore, even though it's fucking Aleister Crowley, so I mean, come the fuck on, I still am not sure I would want to put image A here, just because I would always be thinking about it and who needs to ever think about Aleister Crowley, much less Aleister Crowley in relation to the proximity of a tattoo to one's asshole? Am I right?

Option B: The inside of my right ankle, above and slightly to the rear of the ankle bone. Of course image B would be too big to go there. And once again with the hurting like fuck-all.

Option C: The inside of my right forearm, just below the elbow. A relatively painless spot. It's pretty noticeable, but what do I care if I get fired? In fact, yay! Let's get me fired! However, it's also too small an area for image B. And I would have to decide whether to orient the image towards my elbow, towards my wrist, or sideways, or what. More difficulty.

That's it, those are my options. Any other suggestions are welcome too (let's try to keep the "In your buttcrack!" suggestions to a minimum though, huh boys). And if you think all my options are lacking in excellence, please tell me so now before I make a horrible mistake. If you don't, I will make you bear the burden of my regrets, and trust me, it will be a heavy one.


At 12:52 PM PDT, Anonymous shosh said...

Okay, here we go.

After consideration, I think the wedjat on your wrist would be the best of given options. I would personally orient it the way this image is, so that when you look at your own wrist it's right-side-up (does that make sense?). Plus, bonus, getting your inner wrist inked is only about as painful as scratching an itch.

The griffon guy is doubleplus hotness, and, indeed, nicely coloured. However, to get the detail and color crisp, methinks it would have to be about 4" which is much too large for ankle or wrist and I don't think anything with that much detail looks good in the chick spot. Lower backs are best utilized for things with more POW, like the wedjat. But yeah, Aleister Crowley... creepsville. I'd put the griff on your upper arm, like a crest or the beginning of a bitchin' sleeve. ;)

I have nothing to say about the postal horn except that you'd have WASTE over your butt and, while that amuses me immensely, is no good.

At 1:21 PM PDT, Blogger piehat said...

Yes, plus there's the ass-trumpet issue. Hrm.

Thanks for answering, and these are good points you make. I was actually thinking not of the wrist exactly, but the upper forearm, just below the elbow. Maybe four inches or so higher up the arm than where yours is. Does that still sound reasonable?


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