Wednesday, June 21, 2006


I hereby vow some of the nastiest sort on 24 Hour Fitness. Let me tell you why. Thus far, my interactions with them have involved:
  • Receiving daily phone calls from one "Lonny" for several days straight, even after I informed him I was not going to be able to even consider joining his gym for at least two weeks.
  • Spending an hour trying to get away from a pushy prick who asked me a lot of personal questions and wrote down my answers, and then seemed personally offended when at the end of the hour I was still telling him the same thing I had been telling him at the beginning of the hour — i.e. that, yes, I really did want to try out his gym to see whether I liked it or not before I gave him any of my money.
  • Receiving a phone call asking me if I wanted to join the gym the instant I clicked on anything on the 24 Hour Fitness website, even when I was already a member of the gym.
  • Having to contact them three times (the third time because I was hung up on the second time) after cancelling my membership in order to actually get my money refunded.
  • Being forced to listen to an entire Boyz II Men song while on hold the second time I called them for my refund, and an entire Michael Bolton song while on hold the third time I called them for my refund.
Ha! You thought this was just a list of petty complaints until you got to that last one, didn't you? Now you understand why I cannot rest until everyone involved with this venture has been sent to the hell where they belong.

Jesus. I hadn't actually realized those songs were still in existence. I mean, I guess I knew, but I didn't know, you know? I have to go puncture my eardrums now.


At 4:18 PM PDT, Blogger idler king said...

You recognize a Michael Bolton song? It's not contagious, I hope.

(Please don't do the Steely Dan thing with Michael Bolton.)

At 9:17 PM PDT, Blogger piehat said...

Oh, I am calling bullshit on that. You would so recognize a Michael Bolton song. I even sort of believe you about the Steely Dan at this point, but you will never convince me you couldn't sing along to at least three Michael Bolton songs.

(And I would never do the Steely Dan thing with Michael Bolton. Not unless I'd already made my peace with this existence.)

At 9:27 AM PDT, Anonymous shosh said...

This is why I only listen to the hip hop channel now and plug my ears when I'm in stores and set the phone down when I'm on hold...

Double BS, sir. I won't go as far as to say you could sing along to any of them, but you sure as hell would recognise a Michael Bolton song. You keep up this denial of yours and you'll end up in hell. Where they have required hourly Michael Bolton singalongs.

At 12:02 PM PDT, Blogger idler king said...

Okay, I can't recall any Michael Bolton songs. I try, and I get Sting's "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free" accompanied by an image of Bolton, balding with flowing side-locks, grinning foolishly and doing jazz hands.

So, that's what Michael Bolton is to me.


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