one-liners: friday fumarole fear edition

• Today's word is fumarole. Today's fear is: Death By Fumarole.
• My blog is worth $1,693.62. How much is your blog worth? Also, do you want to buy my blog?
  
• The Yeah Yeah Yeahs' new album is Album of the Month at Radio Indie Pop (which means you can listen to the whole thing for freeeee). I can't really get into the YYYs, but I love the song "Phenomena." Maybe because it makes me think about "White Lines."
  
• Speaking of which... if you had to name the worst album of all time ever, what would you say? I'm guessing something by Michael Bolton, right? If you could think of the name of a Michael Bolton album? Well, check out what Q Magazine picked.
• I have to learn two years' worth of high school math within the next 3-4 weeks. Which sucks, and let me tell you why. It's because in the precise moment that I walked out the doors of my high school on the last school day of my 11th grade year (formerly known as the fucking last year I would ever have to take a math class), I forgot all the math I had ever learned. I am not kidding. I had to re-learn basic mathematical skills the first time I wanted to buy a soda at the convenience store. Anyway, if I can cram learning two years' worth of crap I didn't understand the first time I tried to learn it into the next month of evenings and weekends, I think my latest plan for getting into a real college before I turn 30 just might work out. Three classes this summer, while working full time; 5 classes in the fall while working part-time. One of my fall classes has to be taken at Santa Monica College because it's only offered at SBCC in the spring and I have to have it by the end of this fall. So, I get to drive to Santa Monica once a week for however long a semester is. But it's better than spending an extra year in insurance, isn't it? Yes.

• I forgot the part where I get to take P.E. classes to get my GPA up, too. Someone, anyone, everyone: Take Karate With Me! You'll be able to legitimately say you got an A in Kicking Ass. I mean, if you get an A. I'll print you up a wallet card that says: "[Your Name] / Friend to Piehat Extraordinaire / Ass Kicking Mofo." Laminated. I'll do it up with a nice font and everything.
  
• That's it for now. I have to go buy math study guides. Sacrifice a baby for me or something, ok?