Wednesday, February 22, 2006

blogger, forgive me, for i have sinned

It's been five days since my last post.

People. I don't know what's happened to me. I just don't seem to be able to put words together anymore. In fact, I have a suspicion that reading this post over in a little while is going to be an experience remarkably similar to what happens to me when I wake up from one of those dreams in which I have totally written the most fucking beautiful poem that's ever been written. I haven't the mental resources right now to stretch that metaphor out so that it even sort of covers my thought, but what I mean is, I'm pretty sure that when I re-read this I'm going to realize I wasn't even writing words.

I have a perfect thing that I wanted to share with you all in this post, a thing that I find mysteriously absorbing, freakishly moving, and generally delightful, but which every last one of you will be able to feel warm and self-righteous about mercilessly mocking me for. But I can't get it to post right now, so it will have to come later.

In fact, I promise in general to give you more things to make fun of me for soon. I already gave you the MySpace link, and most of you have already made fun of me for that. Well, okay, only one of you. (You can't see this, Idler, but I'm hoisting my leftmost middle finger to the heavens in your honor.) I don't know why I even put it up there, it's not like anyone reading this other than the one person who is already my MySpace friend (shout out to Shoshie) would actually touch MySpace with a pole of any length. You all are tards. I am forever doomed to have only two MySpace friends, at least until I go back to school and meet a bunch of 18 year olds who I can convince to add me as friends in exchange for buying them beer.

It's just now occurred to me that I'm acting like everyone has been all sad that I haven't posted since Friday, when in fact no one has said anything at all to me. I'm just going to keep acting like you're all completely broken up about it and have been crying and crying, and crying.


At 8:01 PM PST, Anonymous shosh said...

I have been crying. This morning I cried until blue mascara ran down my cheeks, and I wasn't even wearing blue mascara.

I was thinking about words today, too. Mostly the result of my boss chiding me for being too "curt" in an email to a client. For crissakes, people, it's an EMAIL, cold by its very nature! She even suggested we sit down and together pen some "typical responses" for various situations. (This coming from a woman for whom I daily edit out enormous quantities of fluff and redundancy in order to create professional communiques from what lands on my desk as passive-aggressive letters from Great Aunt Edna. Trust me, our clients do not care about her 11 year old's stomach cramps or the fact that her interior designer painted the kitchen lime instead of chartreuse. But I digress.)

Where was I?

Eh. It's gone.

Gonna eat some Cadbury now.

At 12:10 AM PST, Blogger piehat said...

That is quite an impressive display of passive-aggressive control-freakery. Is it possible that she has a form letter she uses on days when her kid has diarrhea?

Mmm, Cadbury. Not so yummy as it was sounding before I talked about diarrhea, but I'll give it a minute.


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