in which i engage in a gendered activity, and then talk a little bit about underpants

I'm having a problem. By Christmas shopping time this year, I will be broke ass. That is my problem. In a nutshell. But I recently came up with a brilliant solution to this problem: I will make things for people, because I can totally get away with spending two dollars on a piece of crap from the drugstore if I act like I put effort into personalizing it. Right? Right. So I'm teaching myself to embroider, because it seems like the easiest possible thing, even if it does involve a needle and thread and therefore smell a little too much like Traditional Gender Role for my perfect comfort. I will simply have to remain vigilant against the temptation to embroider things with flowers, or wedding dresses, or the phrase "I'm too pretty to do math" — you know, whatever it is the girls are into these days.

Anyway, so, in hot pursuit of what I am already beginning to suspect will turn out to be the chimera of cheap and lazy Christmas gift procurement, last night I embroidered my first embroidery ever. Would you like to hear about it? Yes, yes you would. Here it is: I embroidered a muted postal horn onto a pair of pink thong underwear. (And, hey, speaking of underwear, I just barely discovered that I put mine on inside-out this morning. That's endearing, right?)

Moving away (sort of) from the topic of underwear: if any of you would like to request a specific item with specific embroidery, please do so now. In fact, if you don't ask me for something specific, you're likely to get a leotard from American Apparel with some random Morrissey lyrics stitched onto it. Because that's my idea of a joke. And also of the perfect Christmas gift.