closer and closer

Today I finished the last requirements for my History course. No more History, forevermore. I forswear it.

Tomorrow I take my Math final. That last exam I wasn't sure if I passed? 93.51%, babies. I am too sexy for my calculator. You may kiss my ring. Nooo, not that one, try again.

Tomorrow I also have to write an in-class essay on the thematic differences between Raymond Carver's stories and Altman's adaptation of said stories for Short Cuts. Let me just see if I can get this straight. In the stories, some common themes I've identified are:

• loneliness
• isolation
• sorrow
• divorce
• drunkenness
• sex
• violence
• envy
  
• wistfulness
  
• fishing.

However, I'm thinking it might be a problem that this is all I got out of the movie:

• Tom Waits plays an excellent drunk. (I've said it before, and I'll say it again.)
  
• Robert Downey, Jr. is brilliantly deranged.
  
• In 1993, Tim Robbins looked shockingly good in motorcycle cop regalia (and I do mean shockingly; it's forcing me to question my entire belief system, folks).
• Black people are mean, unless they're married to white people, who appear to have a civilizing effect.
• Children die, except the disgusting ones.
• Lyle Lovett's hair has never, ever looked like it belonged on a human.
  
• You bastard. You bastard.

The know-it-all guy in my class thought the plotline about the kid getting hit by a car was completely fucking hilarious. Every time we saw the kid lying on his hospital bed, he'd guffaw loudly and go, "He's going to die!" I'm not completely sure Altman was playing it for laughs, but far be it from me to question someone else's interpretation.

I am getting so drunk on Friday.