sleep pretty in pink

I feel like it's probably unreasonable to have more than a certain amount of fun in a supermarket. And yet... have you tried the Personal Care aisle at your local Gelson's? Hey! Quick, what's the most ridiculous product you can imagine? A thing that, if you saw a commercial for it during Saturday Night Live you would think to yourself (until you realized Chris Parnell wasn't doing the voice-over): man, maybe all those cupcake fanboys are right and SNL really is getting funny again?

Here we have the lovely Shoshana, displaying what I can only assume is intended as a mockery of me and everything I stand for: ladygirl earplugs. Product name: Sleep Pretty in Pink. Richard Butler and John Hughes, I hope you're both preparing lawsuits. Also: let's cool it with the innuendo, hey?

Oh and:

Helen of Troy Hair Nets. Launch many ships while serving lunchmeat at your local high school.

I didn't buy either of these items. What I did buy today, is a pair of the plug-ugliest ski pants you have ever seen, no shit. They are camouflage, but with pink elements. To wit:

They were the only ones available in my size, okay? God. I do plan on wearing these in public this weekend though, when I, you know, go skiing. In public. In front of all the other ski bunnies. It's my first time skiing, and if the pants are any indication, things are not looking so good. Someone tell me to break a leg or something, will you?