I had a "caractère intraitable," and perverse to a miracle.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
i take it back, this might be cuter
When my daughter Caroline was three she came to me with a small wooden box in her small hands and said, "Guess fwat is in this bockus!" I guessed caterpillars, mice, elephants, etc. She shook her head, smiled an unspeakably eldritch smile, opened the box slightly so that I could just see in, and said: "Darkness."
Hence this story.
- Ursula K. LeGuin, introducing her story "Darkness Box" in The Wind's Twelve Quarters
My little sister recorded my just-turned-two-years-old nephew (seen here in his new big boy underwear) talking to me (I hope that link works). It is cute enough to give you diabetes, so be careful.
Check out this bodybuilder's routine. As the site I nicked it from (which contains several other equally hilarious videos) says: "Don't get impatient and just assume he's going do the robot for his entire routine. He wouldn't do that to us."
Unrelated: what is up with this little popple dude. Andand. OMG the ears the ears the ears!!! (From, well, where else.)
Last and, okay, probably least, but you have to admit this post has thrown out some tough competitors:
This:is Chinnamasta. The one who has cut off her own head and is feeding the two yoginis — as well as her own severed head — with the streams of blood coming from her neck. She is kneeling on Kama, the god of sexual desire, and his wife Rati, who are supposed to be getting it on, though I don't see how the position in this image could possibly work. (Rati should be on top, too, by the way.) All of this is going on in a cremation ground, and they are surrounded by jackals (inauspicious animals), a cow (a sacred animal), and a tiger (symbolic of the power of the material world). And everyone is totally naked. And the yoginis appear to be holding begging-bowls made of scalps.
In other words, my friends, Chinnamasta is Bad. Ass. Apparently she's mainly worshiped by Tantric sadhus hoping to achieve siddhis (supernatural powers which, according to Tantric belief, one obtains once one has achieved liberation/enlightenment) by heroically facing her and the terrifying realities which she embodies in order to harness the power of death so that they can transcend it. This is probably done by meditating on her in the middle of the night in a cremation ground and trying not to shit their pants.
Kali is pretty awesome, too. She's the great devourer, who eats demons, demands blood sacrifices (devotees have occasionally sacrificed themselves by cutting off their own heads), and at the end of each cycle of creation consumes the entire cosmos. Not quite as hardcore as cutting off your own head and drinking the blood spurting from your own neck, but still — not too shabby.
So. What I learned this quarter: Hinduism is generally kind of bitchin'. If it wasn't for all the woman-hating*, it is one religion I might actually be able to get down with.
While procrastinating last weekend, I posted a couple of things on Craigslist that I've been meaning to sell, including my electric guitar — which I sold last night for a decent price to the first person who came to look at it, a very nice dude with huge arms. I even remembered where my amp and my cables were so he could test it. Good job Craigslist, good job Piehat.
However, there was also another guy who was interested in it. This guy initially wrote to me, after I'd already set up a time for the first guy to see the guitar, using text-speak and confusing commas with periods (seriously, he used commas as an ellipsis more than once, to the extent that I think it must just be his schtick, and yes I am a snob and this did prejudice me against him). I sent him a one-sentence email telling him I had someone coming over in the evening but I'd let him know if the sale fell through. It didn't, so I just deleted his email. Then he sent a second hysterical email, saying he was flying into Santa Barbara today and he wanted to know what happened and including two (2) of his phone numbers so that I could call him and tell him. Yeeeeeah. I sent another one-sentence reply telling him it had sold. His response was:
"thanks for the email,,,,,at least i deserve a pic from amanda right?lol"
I figured he was right — after all of that hard work he did hitting the ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, key. So I sent him this one. (NSFW, not that anyone reading this checks their email at work. But seriously. Don't do it. Shosh, I think you might not want to look at that one at all.)
No response yet.
* * *
In other news, a doctor told me this morning that because I have the specific kind of migraines I have, I never should have been prescribed birth control pills in the first place, because my risk for a stroke is significantly increased. If only the doctors at Sansum who prescribed me birth control pills six different times had said the same thing, even once, I would be a much happier person right now. Instead, I get to go see a second doctor next week to find out whether he thinks it's better for me to risk having a stroke or be so depressed I can't function in the world. Awesome, right?
But hey, look, it's a puppy!
And please, for the love of god, do not forget whistle dog.
And here's another video from the same sloth-rearing facility (or something):
That sloth is all, "Woman, you can be as coy as you want, but look at me. I'm the motherfucking embodiment of the inexorable, and I am coming to give you a hug."
My post-1800 professor has told me not once but twice that my reading of Frankenstein is, and I quote, brilliant. Thanks, Randy and Idler, for helping my drunk ass work it out. Or, possibly, handing my drunk ass the only brilliant things I ended up saying. I don't remember, because I was drunk. I also may have just now written a bunch of gibberish on my final. Sh! This is supposed to be a post about nice things.
I have decided what my next tattoo will be. Just need to pick a place. And an artist. (One who won't make fun of me, Shosh. I am not that tough.)
Here is a video of a puppy who just... can't... stay... awake.
I guess that's all the nice I've got in me today. Actually, three things is really very good, for today.
Jesus Christ, look at these goddamn puppies. Most of them don't seem to quite get the concept of "legs." Oh, and bonus points for the background music. Rock!! (Is it bad that I can picture that entire musical number in my head?)
