Wednesday, January 16, 2008

know what sucks?

Food poisoning.

I ate some bad Fig Newtons yesterday. (And if that isn't the stupidest way ever to get food poisoning.) Then I had to go to my History discussion section in the evening, because I'm still trying to add it, and I didn't think missing the second section of the quarter would go over well with the T.A. So I just threw up a little before class, and crossed my fingers that I could make it through the whole 50 minutes without having to do so again.

I made it 45, then had to run out and vomit in the bushes outside the classroom.

In elementary school, I barfed on two different (cute) boys, in two separate incidents. (And yet somehow I didn't end up a total pariah, oddly enough.) Other than that, I can only remember one other time in my entire life that I've thrown up in public. (Well, technically, I don't remember it, since it was the [First] Night of the Ten Tequila Shots. But I'm told it happened, and I have no reason to doubt it.) And never before have I vomited in front of total strangers, in the middle of a college campus. What do you know. Nearly 30 years old, and I'm still having exciting new experiences.

All in all, it was much less terrible than my last bout of food poisoning, which left me literally lying on the bathroom floor for 18 hours or so. But that didn't stop me from doing a bit last night about how no one else had ever suffered like I was suffering, not even Satan in Paradise Lost, not even Frankenstein's creature. The Idler, instead of smacking me upside the head, offered to call the Guinness Book of World Records and have it certified. Idler, thanks for putting up with me. I owe you one coddling.