one-liners: tiny flying bears edition

• Stephen Colbert re this news story: "This is just more support for what I've always said — that bats are nothing but tiny flying bears."
• It's not funny, but goddamn is this a good post about feminism. So I'm sharing. Feel free to ignore it if you're not interested.
  
• Now, this? Not funny either. In fact, it's fucking terrifying. And kind of vomit-inducing. Do not click that link while you're eating.
• No good deed goes un— wait, there are no good deeds involved in this exchange.
• He's right, ROTFLMFAO doesn't even come close.
• This person is blogging his way through the new Thomas Pynchon. Why? I don't know, why does anyone do anything?
  
• Knit a boob, knit a uterus. Where is the pattern that will show me how to knit a prick, I'd like to know. Sexism! Oh, and here's a Princess Leia hat.
• This man can scat like nobody's business. Check out "Folsom Prison Blues."
• These Italian science fiction novel covers are dead awesome.
• That Jesus was a total fag. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• And while I'm being offensive: gallery of freaks. Because we all love a good freak now and again.
• People, people, when will you learn? It is sheer folly to leave an Irish camel alone with booze and mince pies.
  
• Several creepy things made of meat. But of course I think most everything made of meat is creepy.
• More creepiness: ladies, apparently if you stick some Lysol up your hoo ha, you'll never grow old. From this Flickr pool (and there's one for dudes, too -- my favorite there is "Puttin' on the Dog").
  
• Speaking of Flickr pools: I hereby present you with the I Crush Your Head pool.