ups and downs, mostly downs

Hi there, folks! It's been a while. Nice to see you stuck around! Did you stick around? Okay.

So, today in class my pre-1800 English Lit professor talked to us about his mid-life crisis.

Then I came home and worked on my paper about Andrew Marvell's "To His Coy Mistress," which is a really spectacular antidote to last week's Spenser and Fatal Attraction blues. The poem, not the paper, though the paper isn't bad either — I have what seems to me like a strong thesis, and I'm actually excited about it, except for the having to write it part. The particularly awesome thing about this paper, though, is the fact that sometime around the third hour of work tonight, I found out that I've now been given two extra (weekend!) days to do that bit. Aaaand of course, in accordance with the laws of my nature, as soon as I found that out, I decided to sport me while I might.

However: I regrettably chose to do so by watching Battlestar Galactica [spoiler!~~~ ha ha, sorry Idler, there is no way to capture that hand motion in print], and I just watched the episode in which the President decides to outlaw abortion, because, hey, the survival of the species depends on allowing parasites to hijack the bodies of the handful of women out of 40-odd-thousand who get pregnant and don't want to be — even the ones whose parents are going to kill them for being pregnant. But it's okay, because guess what flavor of genitalia every single person who is opposed to the President's decision has? Yes! Penis!! And, more importantly, guess what flavor of genitalia every single person who is in favor of the President's decision has? Uh, I'm not allowed to use that kind of language!

Three steps back, one step forward, one step back. Keep going until you're backed against the wall, then get punished for stopping. And that's what it's all about. Hey!

animal-licking, egregious sexism, and good music

• This kid is balls-out licking a hog's snout.
• This man just wanted to shake a panda's hand. What the fuck is wrong with pandas.
  
• Here is a picture of Drew from Toothpaste for Dinner making out with his dog. Drew's moustache is wicked vaudeville.
  
• Guess what.

An anecdote: This week, my senile English professor informed our class that in Thomas More's Utopia, a prospective bride was supposed to present herself to the prospective groom, completely naked, before the marriage, so that the groom could examine her for physical defects and call off the marriage if any such defects were found. My professor then spent a couple of minutes talking about how great an idea this was. Of course, he did so in just the way you'd expect from an old white dude obsessed with making sure his 17 year old female students know that he rides motorcycles. Which is to say, he was laughing when he said it, so as to establish it as a joke and thus incapable of giving offense, but he was actually dead serious. Not to mention desperately hoping to come off as "cool" to his class full of teenagers. The actual passage from Utopia, by the way?

Before marriage some grave matron presents the bride naked, whether she is a virgin or a widow, to the bridegroom; and after that some grave man presents the bridegroom naked to the bride.

I guess he got so excited about the first half of that sentence that he just plum missed the last half. By the way, the section of Utopia this comes from is called "Of Their Slaves, and of Their Marriages." Now that's a good joke.

On a completely different, and much happier, note: go and listen to Margot & the Nuclear So and So's right now. It's a band named after a character from a Wes Anderson film, so the name isn't quite as stupid as it sounds. After you've listened, ask me to send you the whole album. Or get it yourself from emusic. (The two best songs aren't on their MySpace page.) They're playing November 25th at the Troubadour. Who's with me?