Wednesday, October 01, 2008

petty complaint of the day

How many of y'all out there are women? Great. And how many of y'all carry bags of one kind or another around to most places you go? Uh-huh. And how many of y'all ever have to use public restrooms? That's what I thought. So how many of y'all have encountered the problem where there is no fucking place to put your bag in the restroom stall other than the filthy floor on which 20,000 undergraduates have pissed in the past 24 hours, because the hook on the inside of the stall door is broken and no one has bothered to replace it?

Men, do you have any idea how hard it is to try to hold up a skirt, keep yourself and any part of your clothing from touching any part of the horrible toilet, take a piss, and then, you know, wipe your ass, all the while trying to balance a bag (especially a large one full of books) on your shoulder or lap or any other locale that will prevent it from picking up any strain of the herpes simplex virus?

This business about the broken stall hooks is one of those things that seems really minor until you have to deal with it three or four times a day with a bag you're already having trouble holding up when you're not trying to perform three different intimate tasks at once. Men's ability to pee standing up remains the only thing about being a man I have ever envied. Well, aside from all that sweet respect for their humanity and recognition of their abilities that they automatically come in for once their balls drop.

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