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I'm feeling really overwhelmed and also pathetic and desperate today, and so I was just thinking how much I'd like it if someone said something nice to me. And then I thought, what else did I start a blog for but as a forum for compliment-begging? So, my patient friends, feel free to improvise, but here are some suggestions to get you started:

1. You are the most intelligent person ever to walk the face of this earth.
2. Your hair smells pretty.
3. Your left leg is not at all shorter than your right.
4. You are the best [insert noun of your choosing here] that I have ever known. (Be careful with this one, it can turn backhanded easily.)
5. If you flunk out of community college, it is only because you are ahead of your time.
6. It's okay to have attached earlobes.
7. It is really not that important for a woman to have breasts these days.
   
8. You have the soul of a poet.
9. I can't see at all where you chipped your tooth. -and/or- It only makes your already charmingly disordered smile even more idiosyncratically appealing.
10. Whenever you read a text, it comes to me after and says "O my great god I have never been read like that before."
    
11. You make me laugh great belly-laughs which restore my humours.
    
12. You don't at all look like you're about to fall over every time you walk in high heels. Not at all.
    
13. My life would be an empty, meaningless husk had I never met you.
14. You could have more friends if you wanted them. You're just choosy.
15. The fact that you start begging for compliments about your appearance every time you get depressed about anything at all does not make you shallow.
    
16. It's okay. Everything will be okay.
    

So have at it, folks. Or don't, actually. Whatever.